


Neo Crackhead Anthology

by cheribombb, HoneyWoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Drama, Fantasy, Humor, M/M, Memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24711184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheribombb/pseuds/cheribombb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyWoo/pseuds/HoneyWoo
Summary: An anthology of NCT-themed short stories created from the highest form of silliness.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 14





	1. Up the Nose and into the Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> When will they learn, that their actions have consequences?

“I’m sorry I stuck your pencil up my nose, I swear.”

Mark struggled to weasel his way out of Yuta’s strong grip pinning him against the wall, kabe-don style.

“Sorry won’t suffice, Mark.” Yuta whispered seductively into Mark’s ear, leaning in closer until their foreheads touched.

Mark gulped.

It was too obvious what the older boy was about to do, and Mark wasn’t sure whether he wanted it to happen or not. But what he did know, was that he didn’t have a choice but to roll with the punches, since it was only fair that way. After all, he was the one who had desecrated Yuta’s pencil for no suitable reason.

“Just do it already.”

Mark huffed, casting his gaze down to Yuta’s lips. Yuta noticed but didn’t budge, and Mark was beginning to get impatient.

“What, aren’t you going to kiss me?” Mark said boldly, causing Yuta to chuckle in amusement.

“That’s a good idea, but I actually have other plans for you, Mark.” He crooned, caressing the side of Mark’s face with his hand – the hand that wasn’t pressed on the wall.

“What other plans?” Mark stammered out, a shiver coursing down his spine from where Yuta’s feverishly warm hand had touched.

Yuta smirked mischievously, a tell-tale sign that things weren’t going to end well. Goodbye dignity, Mark thought as he powerlessly watched Yuta, eyes filled with anticipation.

“You stuck my pencil up your nose, so I think it’s only fair that I get to stick something else of mine in your mouth.”

*

Mark flicked his eyes upwards to see Yuta, totally consumed by bliss. He seemed even more handsome like this; his face flushed red, eyes fluttering shut and his head lolled to one side.

It baffled Mark how much pleasure Yuta got out of stuffing his own middle fingers into somebody else’s mouth, but what did he know? He never tried it before.

But to be completely honest, being on the receiving end wasn’t bad. In fact, Mark found it rather enthralling, kneeling in-between the other boy’s legs, making him feel good - and Yuta’s fingers tasted like a delicacy - strawberry and vanilla hand-soap.

*

Suddenly, to Mark’s complete and utter shock, Yuta’s body jolted and he let out the loudest, most guttural moan that he had ever heard in all his years of watching raunchy movies.

“Oh my god. Did you just-”

“Yes.”

Mark fixated his gaze on the damp spot that had appeared near the zipper of Yuta’s….......…jacket.

Yuta scoffed.

“Yeah, I spilt some tea on myself, and so what? You should be more concerned about my left middle-finger. It wants more attention, so get to it.” He huffed, shoving said middle finger back into Mark’s mouth to shut him up before he had any chance to protest.


	2. Ocean Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ocean man. take me by the hand, lead me to the land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took this story way less seriously than the first, and I'm sure you'll be able to tell.

It was a relatively normal summer day for Mark.

He was spending the early hours of the morning at the seaside, bathing peacefully in the clear blue waters of the sea. Nobody else was there, and that was just the way he liked it.

The cool water splashed against his shins as he waded deeper into the waters, and the salty sea-breeze whipped through his hair. Mark inhaled deeply, the smell of sea-weed, sea-water and rock minerals filling his lungs. He felt united with nature, at peace.

It was not only four in the morning, but he was in the most secluded part of the coastline, in a gulf the size of a swimming pool. It appealed to nobody, except for only Mark.

As the water rose to his waist as he wandered farther into the waters, his thoughts began to drift to his upcoming mixtape. The theme of it was grass, simply because he liked grass. Whoever had a problem with that could leave him and his music alone. But it did baffle Mark how some people didn’t appreciate grass. It’s what makes lawns look beautiful, and it feeds the goats.

And who doesn't like goats.

_SPLASH!_

All of a sudden, a torrent of water shot up in Mark's direction, drenching him completely. His bangs clung to his forehead with the sticky sea-water.

“What the heck?” Mark yelled, caught very off guard. Who dared to be up at this time just to disturb him?

A boy his age with iridescent hair bobbed up from the water not too far away from Mark. He had the most mischievous smirk plastered on his face. His astoundingly cute face- if Mark had to be honest.

The boy spoke, his tone a playful attempt to be serious.

“You’ve trespassed onto my sacred property! Why are you here at this time of day? Tell me before I whisk you off my turf.”

Mark frowned at the last word he said. “This isn’t turf dude, it’s sea. I’m a grass specialist, and I'm honestly kind of offended by your mix-up.”

“Shut up.” The boy splashed yet another cascade of water at Mark, who covered his face with his hands. “Why are you here?”

“Why do you think somebody would be at a beach early in the morning?”

Sparkly-haired boy snorted. “This isn’t just a beach. This is my sacred territory, and you’re encroaching on my space.”

Mark scoffed in disgust. “Your sacred territory? All this land and sea belongs to the state.”

“That’s fake news.” The boy retorted, rising out of the water until he stood a little taller than Mark. “I'm a water deity and here is my home. Please leave before I have to take drastic measures to chase you away.”

“Ooh. I’m scared.” Mark jeered before he dived into the water, swimming away from the stranger until he was a blob in the distance.

He climbed onto a nearby rock and began to think about grass once again. Grass and watermelon. He could definitely make a good song about those two exquisite gifts from nature.

_SPLASH!_

A large wave rammed into Mark's back, sending him tumbling and flipping over in the water until he flopped onto another rocky surface on the other side of the gulf.

“What the absolute-" Mark choked out as he saw Shiny-haired boy approach him slowly from in the water.

“Drastic measures!” The boy shouted menacingly as he began to run towards Mark.

Mark scurried backwards and tried to climb the rock face, to no avail. It was too slippery with moss for him to secure a grip. Mermaid-boy quickly caught up to him and cornered him.

The boy grinned evilly and pinned Mark's wrists to the rock with his hands. “Sacrifice one thing to me and I’ll let you live.”

Mark stammered. “Like what?”

“Virgin pride.”

Mark's face drained of color. It was his most prized possession as a holy Christian boy, and he was never going to let it go. Just like how Justin Bieber would never let you go if he was your boyfriend.

“You'll never take away my virginity!” Mark wailed as he tried to wriggle his wrists out of the boy's grasp.

“Are you sure about that?”

Suddenly, a long, slimy, purple tentacle slid out from the boy's back and snaked its way over to Mark's chin. It smelt like cherry Jell-O. Probably even tasted like that too. Mark kind of wanted to find out, but his conscience told him not to.

“Whoa dude, a tentacle?”

Multicolored-haired boy cackled impishly, and Mark could feel something moist slink up under the leg of his swim trunks. He gasped, his face turning to the color of tomatoes.

“Not just one.” The stranger crooned.

The tentacle only encircled Mark's thigh, and a next tentacle did the same to the other. Poor Mark, who only wanted to get inspiration for his mixtape, was going to be in a rather sticky situation very soon.

Tentacle boy leaned into Mark's face until their noses touched. Unlike his tentacles, he didn't smell like cherry Kool-Aid. He smelt like raspberry Kool-Aid - and a hint of Calvin Klein cologne.

“Do I have your consent?”

“Uh, for what?”

Tentacle boy stared blankly at Mark.

“What do you think?”

“That's why I asked.”

The boy retracted his tentacles and frowned. “This isn't fun for either of us. I'm going to leave.”

“Adios.”

Tentacle boy disappeared into the water and was never to be seen again.

Mark shrugged and went on with his pondering over grass.

“That was weird, “ He said, hopping off the rock to wade through the water once again.


End file.
